


Never Enough

by idmakeitbehave



Series: Tiny Windows ― Spencer Reid/Reader Blurbs [12]
Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: F/M, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, New Year's Kiss, Pining, alcohol consumption
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-17 17:34:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29475540
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/idmakeitbehave/pseuds/idmakeitbehave
Summary: Spencer receives a rather unexpected New Year's Eve kiss. It doesn't mean anything, no matter how much he wants it to―at least not to you. ...Right?
Relationships: Spencer Reid/Reader
Series: Tiny Windows ― Spencer Reid/Reader Blurbs [12]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2124630
Comments: 2
Kudos: 83





	Never Enough

_Don't read the last page  
_ _But I stay when you're lost, and I'm scared  
_ _And you're turning away  
_ _I want your midnights  
_ _But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day  
_ _―_ New Year's Day - Taylor Swift

* * *

Spencer shut his eyes tight, the memories of the night before flooding in.

***

The team gathered in the living room, their focus half on the countdown on the tiny television screen and half on each other. The jovial laughter was broken by Penelope’s shout of _“Guys, guys, it’s time!”_

You giggled from your spot beside Spencer, your head still on his shoulder. He attributed your unabashed closeness to the champagne you had all been steadily consuming throughout the night. He couldn’t help but wish that it was something more as everyone began to count loudly, matching grins on one another’s faces.

_“Five!”_

_“Four!”_

_“Three!”_

_“Two!”_

_“One!”_

_“Happy New Year!”_

There was a collective cheer punctuated by the opening of yet another bottle of champagne and a toss of confetti—courtesy of Penelope, unsurprisingly. Hugs and raised glasses went around the room, quick kisses pressed to one another’s cheeks (and a not so quick kiss shared between Penelope and Derek, of course).

You pressed a kiss to Spencer’s cheek—and then he blinked.

He blinked and your lips were on his, your hands tugging at his hair.

This wasn’t real. It couldn’t be real.

But here it was. You tasted like strawberries and champagne, and he returned the kiss fervently. His mind felt fuzzy and he didn’t know what to blame—the liquor or the dizziness of the one thing he had wanted for years suddenly just… _happening._ Without warning, without a moment’s hesitation.

You only pulled away when someone beside you let out a loud whoop—Emily, most likely. Spencer stared at you with wide eyes, but you made no move to explain. You simply pressed another kiss to his cheek, your head dropping back to his shoulder. “Happy New Year, Spence,” you said softly.

***

It was a mistake. That was the only explanation. It had been from all of the champagne and the glimmering excitement of the holiday. It hadn’t meant anything to you, had just happened on its own accord. You were probably in your own bed agonizing over the embarrassment of kissing someone like… well, like Spencer.

Either that, or it had all been one _incredible_ dream.

He may never get to kiss you again, but at least he had gotten to do it just once. Just enough to know what it felt like, to know that he wanted to do it over and over again.

Once would never be enough.

Spencer wiped away a stray tear that ran down his cheek. He was being ridiculous. You were his best friend. He couldn’t let this get in the way of that—he had to have you in his life any way that he could, even if it hurt in unimaginable ways.

A sudden noise from his living room jerked him out of the pit of self-pity that he was currently wallowing in. He sat up suddenly, straining to hear—it sounded like the clinking of glass.

Rubbing the sleep and tears from his eyes, he padded cautiously down the hall. He stopped a few feet away from the living room when he caught sight of the source of the noise.

It was you.

Still wearing your fancy outfit from the night before, glitter in your hair, you were shoving empty bottles into a garbage bag. Apparently you had been busy, because the rest of the mess was all but gone. Spencer’s gaze flitted between you and the couch, a pillow and blankets stacked in a neat little pile.

You had spent the night.

Spencer didn’t know what that meant. He cleared his throat, shifting from foot to foot.

“Oh, morning, sleeping beauty,” you said, a luminous smile on your face. You shoved one last bottle into the bag before setting it aside.

“What—what are you doing?” His voice was so quiet that he wasn’t even sure you could hear it.

You arched an eyebrow at him. “What does it look like? I’m cleaning up.”

“No, I mean—why are you here?” It came out wrong, and he winced at the hurt look that crossed your face.

You took a step back, not meeting his eye. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No, no!” Spencer rushed to answer, his words frantic. “Don’t leave. I don’t—I don’t ever want you to leave. But you… you slept over?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I wanted to stay.” The shyness in your voice was disconcerting, unfamiliar. “But you’d already passed out so I… I just slept on the couch. I hope that was alright.”

It was more than alright. But now, Spencer was more confused than ever.

“I just—” he swallowed thickly. It was now or never—it was already going so poorly, what could one more ill-timed question do? “Why did you kiss me?” It came out cracked, a hoarse whisper.

Gone was the hurt. Instead, the corners of your mouth quirked up into a small smile. You took a step towards him, then another. He blinked and you were right in front of him, nose to nose. He reached out without thinking, brushing the glitter from your hair.

“Why do you think I kissed you?” you asked lowly, a gleam in your eye.

Spencer shook his head. “I don’t—I don’t know. You… you were drunk? You thought I was someone else?”

The laugh you let out at that was brilliant, uninhibited. “No, silly.” You reached a hand up to rest on his cheek. “I kissed you because I wanted to. Because you’re you... and because I love you.”

“You do?”

“Mhm. Is that okay?”

He nodded, unable to find the words to explain that it was more than okay. That it was everything.

“Can I kiss you again?” you asked.

Spencer didn’t answer. He just pulled you closer, holding your face in his hands and pressing a soft kiss to your mouth—then another. And another.

Once would never be enough.


End file.
